Ramblings of a madman

Hmm. It was has been of a bit of break since I last posted. The swimming classes are going ok, I am now learning the breaststroke with the swimming aid. I have somewhat cut off myself from all the frills, I deleted my Instagram, deleted my twitter, got rid of WhatsApp. Now only people who really want to talk to me will talk to me. I am cutting out all the small talk and bullshit out of my life. I am coping pretty well not having to regurgitate everything in an instant. I am really surprised how well I am taking this.  As always things got fucked up again. It was always fucked up and I just didn't see it. I just wasted a month because of these people who were trying to con me. Fucking pieces of shit! I am absolutely clueless. I have money to get me through for another 4-5 months, because my spending is so low, as I hardly met anyone, the last month and that is only time actually spend a lot. I just hate sitting at home purely because of the taboo that comes with it. You just g

A few weeks back I was relishing the fact that I will have no work to do and I can sit at home and do whatever I want. I thought I can be happy sitting at home, watching movies, documentaries and other videos on youtube. I didn't quite think about the fact that there needs to be a person with whom I can talk about those videos. A month has passed and it is already boring as shit. It will be boring when you don't have company (YSWIDT) The world around is busy doing their daily routine and getting by with their life, while I sit at home wondering with the whom will I have the next proper conversation. It's been weeks since I actually expressed anything of meaning, to any person. It really sucks. I have so much to talk but have no one to listen. So I am going to scream into this abyss at least once a day Boy! If this is how old age is going to be, I don't want to live a day beyond 40. I hope I die in the next 15-20 years. I am already fed up with this purposeless bull

Have you ever felt that you have absolutely no one to talk to about your deepest fears, your interests, your, your insecurities? Have you ever felt so alone that there is no person in the vicinity has the same wavelength as yours? Guess what, as ironic as it might sound, you are not alone. I am so sure that there are many people out there having this exact same thought wondering what they are going to do. More often than not, this not because we do not have people around us, it is because we want to share these feelings and things with certain people and they seem far away. It is only human to want things that are distant and unobtainable. The truth is we seldom realize what is lurking in front of us, all we have to do is just look. Ok, what about those cases where you actually do not have anyone to confide in, what do you do then? Just hope that you will end up finding someone. Until then you just find a way to vent out your emotion. It may be a blog, or it may be a recording ta