Commenting on the Commentaries

It’s been 3 weeks since i last blogged the reason being exams, fever, block and boredom and that seems to be a thing of past now. Now people will see me regularly in other blogs and my blog as well. No welcome back comments please

   I’ve been watching Test cricket between India and Sri Lanka for the past few days on Neo Cricket. The cricket commentary, I should say is really below par. To be honest the Sri Lankan commentary team is horrible. The coverage isn’t all that interesting either. RK was very disappointing; over stressing every time he ends a sentence. It is irritating and fake. I will quote a few examples here of some shoddy commentary.


Russell Arnold on Thilan Samarweera
“He ees a very good player. He starts off very slow and scores slow. He ees not afraid to play his strokes”
Come Russell what are you saying, this is verbal diahorrea. Just because you are a Sri Laankan you need not speak highly of every Sri Laankan player. what you are saying is equivalent to saying Ladoo is very spicy.


Another Instance of such a thing – Ranil Abenayake on Angelo Mathews:

Ravi Shastri asks “ tell me about Mathews where did he come from? A-cricket, First class cricket or Under 19 cricket”

“ He ees a very good player, can score a lot of runs and take a lot of Wick‘cut’s. He has come School Crick‘cut’, it ees very strong in Sri Laanka”

Come on face it the guy has scored just a fifty that to against a Pakistan side which hasn’t played test cricket for a while and he didn’t pick a lot of wickuts as he claims.


Yuvraj is Batting on 73 and Dhoni is new to the crease look what our Russell is upto this time

“Sunny Last time Dravid declared when Tendul’car’ is short of a double ton, will Dhonee do that here to  you’veraaj(yuvraj)”

Sunny smiles sheepish and does not humiliate Russell and says “Pretty similar”  OMG he beats me in comparing incomparable.


What happens when Sehwag and Gambhir are batting?


The first thing you need to know is that according to Sri Lankan commentators Sehwag becomes Shewag and Gambhir becomes Gaambeer.

The commentary gets the most clichéd when they are batting they repeat the same story over and over again. Our Indian commentators aren't  exceptions, they too have their fair share of torturing us. These are things they usually come up with especially Ravi Shastri.

“They play for the same state, franchise, club blah blah blah ”
“They are very goods mate off the field” – how many times will you say this
“Gambhir calms down when Sehwag goes haywire”
“they understand each other”
“Fantastic Four, super shot no one can stop Sehwag when he bats like this”
“ Gambhir is the second wall of India”

   What has happened to cricket commentary it used to be so much fun listening to them. Hallmark of a good commentator is to make a sucking game feel like a billion dollar.

“When you have nothing to say, just shut up. Try to complement the action in the middle and you need not describe the ball being rolled to the bowler“
                                                                                                       -Richie Benaud

    
I have some thoughts, how would it be if a Geometrist commentates?

“Sreesanth runs in straight line perpendicular to the popping crease and delivers the ball with seem which is 90 degrees and it pitches and deviates 78 degrees and Jayawardena holds his bat parallel to the ground and hits the ball which swerves like a curved line, bisects the field and  reaches the fence ”

    I switched Channels to watch Channel 9 commentary which included and commentary team of Tony Grieg, Richie Benaud, Michael Slater, Mark Nicholas, Bill Lawry and Ian Healy. Oh my goodness this commentary team rocks but does not get stoned like the one from Neo cricket. Commentary in India and sub continent as whole has a fair distance to travel to get where the above people have went. I pin my hopes on Sourav Ganguly.

There are commentators and then there Commentators:


Richie Benaud- The Grand old man of cricket commentary.
Mark Nicholas-  The man with the voice everyone would envy
Michael Slater – Former Aussie opener and a cheeky commentator
Ian Healy- Yet another Aussie with a flair for words and voice i would envy
Tony Grieg- One of the all time greats in this field and makes stupid matches seem interesting.
Damien Fleming- Newbie who packs a punch in his commentary
David Bumble Lloyd-  He is my favorite. I can watch a match between a bunch of nobodies if he is commentating.
Geoff Boycott-  The man with a Fascinating Yorkshire accent obsessed with technique.
Harsha Bhogle- The best Indian commentator if not the best in the world; a man who has a way with words and face behind ESPN star.
Ian Chappell- In your face guys who doesn’t fear anyone when it comes to expressing his opinion. He didn’t even spare the great Don Bradman.
Bill Lawry-  An awesome commentator with an even more awesome voice
Even the New Zealand commentary team seems to be doing pretty good

What do you think? Pour your thoughts in the comments section.