Rat Race

Hmm. It was has been of a bit of break since I last posted. The swimming classes are going ok, I am now learning the breaststroke with the swimming aid. I have somewhat cut off myself from all the frills, I deleted my Instagram, deleted my twitter, got rid of WhatsApp. Now only people who really want to talk to me will talk to me. I am cutting out all the small talk and bullshit out of my life. I am coping pretty well not having to regurgitate everything in an instant. I am really surprised how well I am taking this. 

As always things got fucked up again. It was always fucked up and I just didn't see it. I just wasted a month because of these people who were trying to con me. Fucking pieces of shit! I am absolutely clueless. I have money to get me through for another 4-5 months, because my spending is so low, as I hardly met anyone, the last month and that is only time actually spend a lot. I just hate sitting at home purely because of the taboo that comes with it. You just go from the asshole who at least works to the lazy asshole sitting at home. The universe and people constantly bring to your notice how your peers are racing ahead, millions of miles and you are missing the bus. Frankly, I don't give a fuck. As far as I am concerned I am not even in the race. I have always shied away from competition, not because I am afraid of it, but I always felt, taking winning and losing out of the equation makes everything so much fun. As a kid, I liked bowling for hours together, to a batsman just for the fun of practice. I guess that is a reflection of my personality.

Here's to hoping for better days ahead and finally get me a job soon.

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