Ramblings of a madman

If you are squeamish or a finicky lil fucker, kindly get out. This is going to be downright gross. Kakkoose is some place we all go to everyday. It is where we test out our singing skills and think about life and things. But we don't want to reminded of the exit hole when you are stuffing food entry hole, innit? That is what happens most of time I sit down it.  You sit down with your plate, fill it with rice and put some thenga thogayal and start mixing it. Abbas will appear "Onga Kaakoose la pee karai irukka, any?" and the lady would be like "Oh vanga vanga, many!".  Then the piece of shit ad film maker will zoom into the kakkoose with the shit stain and then zoom in once again to show how harphic has cleansed the eternal shit filled kakkoose closet. Nowadays Lifebouy has joined with their "Kai vai bum" ad campaign. Then went one step ahead and showed some kid's ass. Oh! Dont even get me started on Adithya TV or Sirippoli. It's eith...

Ever since I joined as an intern at my current office. My sleeping patterns have vastly changed. My sleeping period normally falls between 2am to 7am or 8am depending upon whether I need to head to the office or the clients place. It was a far cry from when I used to sleep at 9-10 pm and wake up at pretty much the same time during my college days. The fact that the day time was consumed by work made me switch all the things used to do at college during the night. The activities ranging from watching night shows to watching documentaries and random stand up comedy on YouTube. Also I have gained some 10-15 kilos and lost so much hair since joining as an intern, which primarily is due to the lack of any physical exertion and too much mental exertion. Recently I decided to donate Rs.850 every month to Pulse 7z. Yep, that is the name of a gym. Every day I try to get up early, every day i suck. 6-8 is the time I am in deep sleep. I get all kinds of dreams during that period. I have ...

What is it that makes us value things lowly when they are available in abundance? The usage of the word local colloquially is always is derisive and not reflecting good upon. Someone who is always available is quite always taken for granted. Why is the mere fact of being available more makes it unattractive for a person? It has turned out to be fruitful day. I missed this so much! The riding of the motorbike, the ponds, the lakes, marshland, the beach, the deep blue sky, that gentle sound which is a honey to the ear, Tamil. Never have I been happy to be swarmed by a group of Auto/Taxi guys who tries to rip you off in Tamil. I went through so many ecstatic moments today. Case in point being when I was riding along the Maraimalai Adigalar Bridge and I saw the clouds and the bright blue. I was in tears. Another moment where I noticed the lake in the backdrop of the Mountain in the Pallavaram periya eri. The line of buildings on the end of the marshland or rather on the marshland was ...

Started the day by watching the highlights of today's Smackdown live. They are building the Nakamura - AJ feud quite well. I was really thrilled to see Samoa Joe on Smackdown Live. The guy's promo are legit gangsta. He says it with so much conviction you just believe it's true. Ended up watching this movie called "I am Legend". It was a load of bullcrap. The movie deals with a plot where the human race has almost gone extinct due to a genetically modified virus to cure cancer. The story starts 3 years after the virus spreading, in NYC which has been abandoned. You see Will Smith driving a god damn car with a fancy jacket, hi-tech gun and a german shepherd. How the fuck did he get these? Who the fuck gets him petrol? He tries to hunt deer, chasing them using his car. The roads are better than what highways in India are and listen to this, the motherfucker gives the dog a fucking bathtub bath. Who gives you electricity? Who supplies water for this? Then this fake a...

It is not unusual for people to have exclusively online friendships. I am talking about people whom you met through some social network and then went to forge close friendships with them. A social network is a nice way to meet people with a common interest. These friendships bloom because it totally takes out the initial awkwardness that comes with opening up with someone. In real life, you rarely meet people purely because they have common interests. It may be because you went to school together or are from the same neighborhood or are part of a community or are they went to college together or were colleagues. Most of these friendships are not friendships for the sake of being friends but are just something you stumble upon. When it comes to online friendships it is totally the opposite. Personally, for me, none of the "friendships", to this date, that were forged online have lasted more than 3 years. There is this odd conversation once in blue moon, but other than tha...

The relationship between myself and the gym has always been on and off. I first stepped into a gym during my college days, because a friend of mine compelled me to join, to provide him company.  The gym had basic facilities, not quite the tech-savvy and the treadmill was not electric. It was a manual treadmill, inclined to make it tough to use it. We went to the gym regularly for about a month or two. The guy who accompanied me quit due to his "exam" and I went to the gym for about 2 weeks and then I quit. That was my first stint. The same would repeat again after 3 years, this time the gym being a different one. This one had better facilities than the last one. This time, I continued for about a week after my friend quit. I fondly remember myself snoozing the alarm, sleeping again, dreaming of working out at the gym and then waking up to only to realize, that I did not work out and I am actually late for office. So that was how my second stint ended. Again...

There is nothing more enjoyable than seeing a piece of yourself getting reflected in art. Especially when there is an increased feeling of being misunderstood and being disconnected from the rest of people. Mysskin's films fall into that category for me. I have always believed that the subject of his movies and film language he employs resonates with the core of my being. This was further confirmed when I was breezing through some old pictures of mine, posing exactly like how Mysskin's characters do and many times, he himself does. As I once said, "Beauty no longer interests me, it is the oddities that do". There is this strange sense of oddness to his film language. 2 nights before, I watched Mysskin's latest offering, "Savarakathi", albeit he was only the writer of the movie and it was directed by his brother GR. Adithya. I did not expect the cinema hall to be packed to the rafters but at the same time, I did not expect it to be as empty as it was. ...

I've been humming this song called "Hard Sun" by Eddie Vedder which was used as a soundtrack in the movie "Into the wild". The song has a whole country music feel to it, I've always liked the tempo and the guitar riffs, but I've never really paid attention to the lyrics, until yesterday. It is a magical feeling when you suddenly find a song that totally fits your frame of mind. It is indescribable. I am reproducing the lyrics here. The song on the outwards looks like a tale of a relationship between a man and woman. If you delve deeper you would realize it is actually a guise of a person singing about their destiny. How one has to live with the pressures of this world, over how one wants to lead his own life. The woman is a personification of the inner voice and the hard sun, the unforgiving world we live in.

I was looking up on the weekend getaways from Chennai during one of the long weekends in October. I wanted to go this place called "Senjikkottai" aka "Gingee fort". I wanted to get there with my TVS Wego but ended going to Kancheepuram, instead. That was one heck of a 140 km ride. I just couldn't imagine myself riding 140 km to and fro, Gingee. I buried that plan and went ahead with life. Suddenly one night, I rang up my friend, Machiss and asked him whether we could go to Gingee fort the next day morning. The plan was made in a matter of minutes and we were good to go. Things have not been easier. We parked our bike at CMBT and boarded a bus to Gingee at 6 in the morning. It is not the most comfortable way to travel, but it is my most favorite way to travel. When traveling in a public transport, you get to see the different cultural subset of people from various suburbs and towns around Chennai. They have their own routines which are ethnic to them. It is...

I wouldn't call myself a wanderlust, but I don't mind traveling. From the age of 5 to 22, I hardly traveled within the city, let alone outside the limits of the city. I spent all my childhood and weekends within the confinement of the neighborhood that I lived in. I didn't know many places in Chennai until 2011.  I've just gathered my thoughts about traveling, so that I could refer to this after a period of time. Hindsight is always a better vantage point, isn't it? More than the serenity of the destination, what has always amazed me, has been the journey to that place. Beauty no longer fascinates me, it is the oddities that do. I dont want to go beautiful places, i just want to go to odd places, the mundaness of the place that people look over when they view with a romantic eye. My ideal kind of wander would be to choose to travel like a common man, stay in a humble place without any luxury and experience the place like how any local would, in that area. I do...

There are days when you wake up and do not want to face people. You just want to avoid the whole world and then sulk in frustration. If you actually take the plunge and get out, it is amazing how your day changes. There is no point in sitting and mourning over spilled milk. If you are not getting something that you need from somewhere, don't cry about it, just go "Well, I am gonna go here and find what I need". At least that's how I have been, all my life. It is not reflecting poorly on the places we don't get what we need, rather puts the stress on the reluctance to make a fuss about not getting something.  In my opinion, what comes towards you is more important than things you go towards. I have let go numerous opportunities because I thought I will be of no use for the other person or they really didn't need me. I honestly think the world will be a better place and free of any disappointment, if we only did what we would offer others normally, rather goi...

When I was a kid, my father used to sit me on his lap and tell stories. All the stories would be me saving people, wearing a "power shoe", tossing groundnuts into my mouth, riding an "Oo ve si" (USA) cycle to the crime scene. The first memory of me trying to actually ride a cycle was when I used to visit my grandmother's thatched home. There used to be shops dedicated for letting cycles on hire. I would give 2 rupees, hire a cycle for an hour and try to ride it, but to no avail. My mother then got me an used ladies cycle to learn cycling. After innumerable number of falls and jamming the cycle into the curb, I learned to cycle. I rode that cycle to my school with so much pride with that feeling of having grown up.  After moving to a new home, new neighborhood and new school, my parents decided to buy me a new cycle. My first proper cycle was a "Hercules Top Gear" with 5 gears aka The Black Panther. All the kids at school would muck around wi...

One fine Sunday evening I was watching the final episode of "hunter x hunter" and Ging uttered the words that would resonate with the core of my existence.... I met the oldest friend who is in my life right now, when I was strolling along the street one day. Fate decided we would play Ashes 1999 cricket and Brian Lara cricket 2000 for hours together and that would then evolve into us playing for hours and hours breaking windows (physical) now and then. It was always the two of us. We were the outcast because we sucked at it so much back then. The first time I met the closest friend I have right now, we quarreled over, me swearing at him. Umpteen number of walks and strolling the cycle back home, we found each other to be great companions. Those 3 years, everywhere he went, I went. Everywhere I went, he came. He challenged me at everything I did, took me along and fought for my opportunities. All I did was, listen patiently to whatever he had to say. Circumstances would ...

Consider two foetuses, F1 and F2. F1 was conceived before F2, but was delivered after F2. Of the two, which one is older?  It would be F2 as it was delivered before F1, even though the latter was conceived earlier. As things stand, one's existence is recognized only when one gets out of their mother's womb. Why not recognize the existence of a life from the day it was conceived, if your birth date is truly the date of your origin. Is the birthday that you are celebrating, really your birthday? http://www.whenwasiconceived.com/  : This website lets you to find the approximate date when your mother got conceived you, what song was topping the charts in the US and the movie that got released at that time. Give it a try. That brings us to the question what is 'you'? If you consider from a physical standpoint, the cells which are building blocks of our body, get replaced constantly and with passage of time, the cells which used to be you, are no longer you. No...

When you don't have a proper job, you make things up to keep yourself occupied. Especially when you are as jobless as I am, mucking about with the friendly neighbourhood street dog and having bad blood with the unfriendly neighbourhood pomeranian piece of shit, I digress. So I decided to do 3 experiments on myself. Just to sound like a proper director introducing the audience to an obscure flashback or a plot poin. at the beginning of the movie with a wicked screenplay, I am going to describe an incident which you will come to know at the end, when I throw light on it. Mind la vechikeenga! Feb 7, 2016, Sunday.  I was waiting for my Aunt and her daughter at Theevu Thidal. I spotted a sugar cane juice stall next to the parking lot manned by a geezer who was as scruffy as I was when I didn't bath for a week during the floods. The sugar cane juice was like what I would describe as left over surf water from the dirty clothes bucket. Appearances are deceptive, I sai...

Circa 1965, Anandha Vikatan office. Neelakandan had been writing for over a year in the Anandha vikatan weekly under the pen name Komalam. It was was the series' first anniversary. Everyone were congratulating him as he was leaving office. "Vaazhthukkal Oi! Unga thodar nalla poitirukku, Bonus laan vangirkeer, enna panna poereer?" "Radio ku license laan vangiyachu oru varushathukku. Murphy radio with Leather bag" "Sabaash, evalo?" "500 rupees" *with a huge gasp* "Adhengappa, Ceylon radio laan kekalame" "Aama aama", Neelakandan replied with pride Neelakandan was so happy that he finally had a radio of his own. He need not go to his friends' place to listen to olichittiram of his favorite Balachander movies and listen to his favorite hindi songs in Binaca Geetmaalik. He was imagining everything in his mind and was walking to Standard electronics in thiruvellikeni. Picture courtesy Radioactivity "Enna sir...

  சமீபத்தில் வேலை நிமித்தமாக தமிழ்நாட்டில் உள்ள சில பகுதிகளை கடந்து செல்ல நேர்ந்தது. காணும் இடம் யாவும் ப்ளாஸ்டிக் குப்பைகள். கடவுள் எங்கும் இருக்கிறாரோ  இல்லையோ, ப்ளாஸ்டிக் எல்லா இடங்களிலும் தென்படுகிறது எங்கெல்லாம் மனிதன் செல்கிறானோ அங்கெல்லாம் ப்ளாஸ்டிக். மதுரையில் குளங்கள் இருக்கவேண்டிய இடங்களில் வறண்ட மண்ணையே காண நேர்ந்தது. அப்படியே அதில் நீர் இருதுந்தாலும் அதிலும் ப்ளாஸ்டிக் குப்பைகள், மேலே மிதந்தவாறு. திருபரங்குன்றத்தில் உள்ள ஓர் நீர்நிலையே அதற்கு சான்று. ஸ்ரீவில்லிபுத்தூரிலிருந்து திருநெல்வேலி போய்கொண்டிருந்தபோது என் நண்பன் விசேஷ் சொன்னான்,  "என்னடா இது highwayன்னு சொல்றாங்க ஆனா இவ்ளோ வெளிச்சமா street lights இருக்கு"  அவன் தமிழ் நாட்டின்  ஒவ்வொரு மூலையிலும் எப்படி வளர்ச்சி தெரிகிறது என்பதை சுட்டிக்காட்டினான். போகும் இடம் எல்லாம் 3G connectivityஆகவே இருந்தது. ராஜபாளையம் சென்றடைந்ததும் முதலில் தென்பட்டது, சாலையோடு ஓடிகொண்டிருந்த ஒரு கால்வாய். குளங்களில் தாமரை மலர்கள் மறைப்பது போல்...

On my way to work today morning, the skies opened up and it was pouring heavily. While I was walking in the rain with an umbrella, my backpack worn like a front-pack over my 3 feet luggage that is my belly, to get across to the place where I would get the share auto I was reminded of something. I was reminded of a similar thunderstorm that occurred almost the same time last year. A Ship had hit the shores towards the Besant Nagar beach and then drifted towards Marina beach near the Light house due to the cyclone "Nilam" The ship that hit shores, as seen from the marina beach Me and my friend had went there to catch a glimpse of the Ship on an early Sunday morning. We got the glimpse of the ship and carefully navigated away through the pieces of shit left over by the locals, like mines in that of a minesweeper game. I've always heard that Pattinampakkam aka Foreshore Estate had a beach. I wanted to visit that place, something other than the usual Marina, Bessy an...

  On November 24th 2013 one of my childhood fantasies came true. When I were a child, my father and mother would take me to the Marina during Sundays. I fondly remember the days when the Marina's shore would be so long and we would be endlessly walking towards the mirage that are the waves. With not even one fourth of the way through I would ask my vertically challenged mother to pick me up and carry me. She, with all her might would carry me halfway through. I would get restless with a sea of crowd blocking my view of the ocean and ask my 6 foot tall father to lift and place me on his shoulder to give me a towering view above the rest. It was always fascinating for me to get a towering view of the ocean. While going back I would notice the tower structure standing tall and would ask my father to get me up there. He would say we cannot go there and I would cry like a bitch till he bought me "kuchi ice" from the local vendor. I then grew up to realise that it was rest...

  First of all this not a review. A review is something which is done after carefully observing everything in a movie. It should be of service to the film maker and not be a mere guide to the movie goers whether to watch it or not. Only that will elevate the art. Let us set that aside for some other day. Mine is just an impression of what I thought as I was watching and after watching the movie. The film started off with Arya telling the tale of love in two different worlds. Usually the characters in a Selvaraghavan film has lots of detailing and have shades of grey. But in this movie he has failed to do so, as it is totally unclear as to who Arya actually is, a mathematics professor or a Surgeon or a social activist. It is also unclear as to whether it is a hospital or a home of disowned people and children. We are constantly being bombarded with the patients acting so jovial with Arya around and he pretty much has free access to everywhere in the hospital, even the operation...